Grilled Spicy Hamburgers/Juice-grease-peace.

See the little tag cloud on the right? Below those messy ads I've been meaning to clear up. It's been building up over the last few months. But the lack of reviews or meat dishes is astounding. It makes me seem like one of those "Indian love-marriage chicks who cook NV for their husbands" but are vegan/vegetarian themselves. I am most definitely not one of those.

I eat seafood by the platefull. My family thinks only poor people live without meat. So why does the blog not have any, right?

Because as much as I eat biryani and Prawn varuval, I can't cook those things with confidence. The Salmonella, over-cooking or raw meat thing is off-putting. You've seen Top Chef. You know how it goes.

As for the lack of reviews, does anybody want to know how the canteen food at the hospital I work at tastes? I got the specially-marked Renal Diet once (restricted food for patients on Dialysis and Chronic Kidney Failure). It's not good.

Am I allowed to use the adjective terrible for food? I don't want lightening to strike me. And I know 46% of Indians can't afford three square meals a day. So I won't say terrible.

Let's just say my social life is a little lacking at this point and move on? Shall we? OK.

As you might have guessed, I'm bringing out the meat. I've a big problem with red meat. I don't eat it. Unless, of course, it's minced very fine and hidden in a moussaka or a khuska kurma or koftas. And my Urdu-muslim man loves his meat.

And yeah. Burgers. Hamburgers. Hard to find in Chennai. If I wanted a cutlet in a bun, I'd have that. Call it what is. I wanted one of those burgers I've had in the US during my childhood. Double-patty, triple cheese, with a side of salty fries. And Diet Coke.

Do not skip the cheese or the mayo if you want juice and grease. Making
a mess is obligatory/inevitable.

So if you love yourself some burgers, but can't track down juicy, meaty, flavourful, grilled burgers... MAKE THEM YOURSELF. It isn't hard. Buy some minced meat. Throw in some seasoning. Fashion out some patties. Get yourself a macho man to grill those babies. Toss them in hamburger buns with store-bought condiments. Done. Which part of that is hard?

The macho man bit? I hear you.

Spicy Hamburgers with caramelized onions:

Roughly adapted from Nigella Lawson's Speedy Hamburger Recipe.

Ingredients:

500 g lamb/beef mince
1 tbsp yogurt
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp tabasco sauce
2 onions, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, minced

Bread crumbs, for binding

salt, pepper, chilli powder, to taste

Olive oil, for frying

Extras:

Cheddar cheese slices

Lettuce, tomatoes

Jalapenos, pickle

Mustard/ketchup/mayo

Method:

To caramelize onions:

In a non-stick pan, heat a tablespoon of olive oil on medium. Add in the onions. Lower the heat. Add a little sugar, a little salt, and caramelize those onions until deep brown, but not burnt. 

This might take around 15 minutes.

To make the patties:

Mince the meat extra fine. Add the yogurt, soy and tabasco sauce, mix into the meat.

Add the chilli powder, salt, pepper, finally the caramelized onions and garlic and knead well.

If the mix isn't stiff enough to fashion out patties, add in a couple of tablespoons of bread crumbs and bind.

Form 6 or 8 balls out of the meat. Flatten it on a greaseproof paper into patties. Stow it in the freezer for 30 minutes.

Assembling the burgers:

Heat olive oil on a griddle. Cook the patties on medium heat for atleast 2 minutes on each side. You may need more.

If you're using cheese, cook the patty on one side, flip over, place the slice of cheddar cheese on the cooked side. It'll melt as the other side is cooking.

Toast the burger buns. Place the grilled patty. Add in the mayo, mustard, jalapenos/pickles, some more caramelized onions, and yes, ketchup.

And kindly ignore the onions rings I baked with semolina on the side. Half-hearted attempt at a healthy side.

Next time I'm making batterfried onion rings. The only thing that goes with Grease is Grease. And Diet Coke.