Boring Disclaimer. Marbled Chocolate-Banana Bread with Peanut Butter Frosting.

After almost a decade of their existence, I've realised the purpose of blogs. To be foist-fully heard.

No, I'm serious. I can text it, Status Update it and yell it along with the best of them, but I won't be heard as much as if I post it along with pictures of "deelishus!" food.

I'm so thoroughly grateful and happy to have people in my life who offer to send me cookies from across the seas and soup from across the streets. And to the people who make curious/concerned phone calls at the increasingly skyrocketing Bangalore-to-Madras rates. You're all very cool. Very occasionally.

Disclaimers aren't as cool, though. They are pesky, annoying and I almost always check "Agree to all terms and conditions" without reading them. You might want to read this bit.. You can doze off and pretend you have. I almost always do. Here goes.

Kindly take everything I say with a pinch of salt (make it Fleur de Sel, if you can lay your hands on some). I never, ever speak as a medical practitioner in this site. Butter and dark chocolate do not cancel each other out. My 8-year-old sister can tell you that. As a doctor who sees hoards of people with a plethora of lifestyle diseases, whose origins are almost always in the refrigerator, I know I have a responsibility. Which I hope I fulfill within the confines of my Outpatient Department and the people who call me for the purpose of medical advice.

On this blog? I'm your average twenty-four-year-old. I care equally about shockingly-blue skinny jeans and the fibrofatty plaques on  arterial walls. I blissfully lie to myself that Frozen-Yogurt is healthy. I touch the petri-dishes that handle-bars on the local trains are, without the fact even registering in. I regularly extol the virtues of raw cookie dough (the kind with eggs in it).

Sometimes I do not know if I'm typing out on a sordid Blogger text box or performing theatrics at The Globe. That's just me. I'm sorry. It's nearly impossible for me to completely cut the medicine out of it. I might tell you to add in flax seeds or talk about how crucial Calcium is.

But, please, please take caricature-ish verses on Butter with a pinch handful of salt. Call me during working hours, and I'll ask you to stay off both.

Not here. Of course, if it falls under the ambiguous umbrella of Healthy, I'll tag it.

I've spoken enough for my generation and the next. We'll head on to the Recipe of the Day.

Banana Bread. You can never have enough recipes for it.

This loaf has less calories than your average nut-studded, brown-butter-filled loaf. It has chocolate in it, though. Taste (and calorie count) is heightened by the addition of creamy, slightly salty Peanut Butter Frosting. That's all I'm saying.

Latha (tamil-muslim-word for big sister)'s little helper enjoys the cake of our labour!

Marbled Banana Bread:
(recipe source for bread: Post Punk Kitchen)


Ingredients:

1 cup mashed over-ripe banana
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
2 tablespoons neutral vegetable oil (canola, sunflower)
1/3 cup milk (make it almond to go Vegan!)
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
6 tablespoons boiling water, divided

Peanut Butter Frosting:
1/4 cup peanut butter (Creamy/crunchy are both fine)
2 tbsps milk
1 tbsp butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
a pinch of salt.
Method:

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Mash bananas (3 or so), until you get a cup's worth.

Beat in the sugar, oil, vanilla and milk until you get a smooth mix.

In another bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda and salt until combined. Fold it into your banana-egg mix gently. It's OK if there are tiny streaks of flour. Do NOT overmix.

Measure out one cup's worth of batter in a separate bowl and keep both portions aside.

In a small cup, mix together 3 tbsps cocoa powder and 3 tbsps boiling water until it forms a homogeneous mix. Add this cocoa to the cup's worth of banana bread batter and fold with a fork until it's combined.

To the remaining plain banana bread batter, add 3 tbsps of boiling water and mix with fork until combined.

You now have your batter duo.

 Layer one batter over one corner of the greased loaf tin.

Add the chocolate-filled batter to the other half.

Swirl it around carefully with a blunt bread knife. Over mixing defeats the purpose of a marbled bread!

Bake for around 50 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.

Slice and frost with the Peanut Butter frosting while still warm.

Peanut butter frosting comprises of all the ingredients blitzed together in a blender. Thin out with more milk or sweeten/thicken it with more powdered sugar. It really is that simple!

Enjoy with a cup of tea/coffee.

Or just attack the frosting, then the bittersweet chocolate portion and then the scented banana portion.

Laatha's little helper is always right. When it comes to food.

Malted Chocolate "Soft Serve"/Smug-virtuous "Ice Cream"

I eat things that are not cake/brownies/bread. Hard to believe?

In fact, the thing that I'm always searching the foodblogosphere for, is the perfect post-gym snack. Something other than a smoothie/banana/whole-grain toast. Even though all of the above is delicious and a half.

Sadly enough, my search always yields densely calorie-and-nutrition packed bars made of dates, coconut and nuts. Working out in the gym does not equal training for a half-marathon!! It can mean wearing the new Reebok trackpants you got on 40% off, slow-walking on a treadmill and gossiping away to glory. It can, OK?

If your gossip session does not take you down the natural path to Kiwi Kiss for Fro Yo (because talk is cheap, but delicious frozen yogurt is expensive), go home. Facebook and a home-made snack are decent substitutes.

Home made snack options? Tzatziki and baked pita chips. Yum. Hummus and a plate full of veggie strips. Double Yum. But if the fro-yo craving strikes really hard, reach into your freezer for the frozen fruit.

So you know how I'm always asking you to not throw away ripe bananas and make breathtakingly gorgeous banana bread or a nutrition-packed smoothie instead? Turns out there are a couple of other things you can do with over-ripe bananas.

Like Soft Serve! The whole internet was buzzing about it a while back. Softee ice-cream (think Milky Way circa 1995), made with only one real ingredient. Bananas. Yes.

Incidentally, freezing bananas is an art. Here's how it goes.

Step one. Peel banana and cut into slices.
Step two. Freeze all the slices on a tray.
Step three. Put all of the frozen banana slices into an airtight box/Ziploc bag and freeze until you need it.

I froze the bananas for 5 hours, and it was OK, but the next time, I'm using rock-solid-frozen bananas.
Make sure you use ripe (over-ripe is even better) bananas, or you get the slightly bitter, paste-like taste.

And if you want to mask the fact that it is bang-bang-banana, put in different flavours (additional calories, additional taste). Here are 13 options.

1)Peanut butter and Grape Jam/Jelly.
2)A teaspoon of instant espresso powder: Coffee Soft Serve.
3)Chocolate chips.
4)Fruit such as frozen strawberries can be blended in.
5)Peanut chikki/caramel smashed to bits as topping.
6)A teaspoon of cocoa powder: Chocolate Soft Serve.
7)2 teaspoons of cocoa powder: Dark Chocolate Soft Serve.
8)Serve with hot fudge sauce made with 1 tsp cocoa, 1 tsp honey and a little hot water to bring to consistency.
9)Served as ice-cream sandwiches: soft serve between two graham crackers/Digestive biscuits.
10)Fruit salad: A scoop of soft serve, chopped fruit and honey! Perfect for Ramadan!
11)As a parfait: Soft serve, granola and fruit layered in glasses and topped with brown sugar or more muesli.
12)Indian style: Soft serve-flavoured with elaichi(cardamom) with bits of mango and crushed almonds. Kulfi/Lassi leanings.

And 13: The way I made it. And I'm convinced is the best of the lot.

Sharjah Banana "Soft Serve"/Malted Soft Serve


Ingredients:

2-3 medium bananas, frozen well
1 tsp cocoa powder
1 tsp malt powder (5-star Bournvita!)
1 tsp milk (I used Nestle Slim)
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
a handful of salted, roasted peanuts

Method:

Pulse/blitz the frozen banana in a food processor or mixie for a minute or so.

When you've got something that looks like the picture, stop. That is your base for the soft serve. You can eat it as it. Or posh it up with all the options that I've mentioned, or come up with your own wacky combos.

Add in the cocoa powder, malt, milk and pulse once more.



Using almond milk or whole milk heightens the creaminess. You can use
Soy if you're Lactose-Intolerant or a Vegan!


Scoop out the "softee" into a bowl. Top with salted peanuts and a couple of maltesers/whoppers or even Dairy Milk Shots. Serve with hot fudge sauce, if you're cool like that.

Don't tell me the whole purpose is defeated by the add-ons. Not unless you want to be dragged into a Proust-y conversation on what life is and the purpose of it.

Cherry-mango-Smoothie-Banana "Brake"/Banana Bread with cherries and mangoes.

I've professed my love for banana bread earlier. The way I view Banana Bread (or smoothies, for that matter) is how an artist might look at her blank canvas. The possibilities. The varied, various possibilities.

I've put dates and nuts in banana bread before. I've also been known to put espresso and chocolate chips in the batter. Coconut and raisins? Done and done.

However, as an ode to summer, I needed something fruity and fuss-free. Something like a smoothie. In a bread. Fusion conFusion and all that.

Cherries and fresh mango in banana bread!`Ooooh, yes.

I have a recipe for banana bread and banana muffins that I love. However, Smitten Kitchen's recipes are something I trust wholeheartedly, so I thought I'd give this a try. I made this late at night, cut myself a slice for breakfast and ran for work. Got through work knowing that I'd come back to air-conditioning and a loaf of banana-bread-minus-one-slice. That happened. Not.

My brother even had the audacity to tell me that I should've skipped the mango as it made the bread a teeny bit "soggy" after a while. It didn't have a "bite" to it, he said, in a snooty voice. A food blog in the family and everybody turns into frou-frou self-professed food connoisseurs. Not that I didn't cut him down to size by asking in front of company why he had to go eat it all then.

Skip the mango if you're not a fan, but I liked the random bits of soggy-sweetness in the bread. Maybe mango puree in the batter, subbing out some of the bananas would have been a better option. To-do list it goes on to, then!

Until then. Follow the recipe verbatim and have a delicious, delicious slice of banana brake (bread+cake. Lameness). Use organic bananas, fresh cherries and sweet, non-carbide-ripened mangoes. You'll keep wondering if you made it.

Cherry-mango Banana-Smoothie Bread:

Ingredients:

4 very ripe bananas
1/3 cup melted butter
3/4 cup light brown sugar.
1 egg, beaten
2 teaspoona vanilla
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
Pinch of ground cloves
1 1/2 cup of flour
1/2 cup cherries, pitted and halved.
1/2 cup mangoes, cut into tiny dice.
Method:

Preheat an oven to 200 degrees celcius or 350 degrees Farenheit.

Mush the bananas and the melted butter in a big mixing bowl.

With a wooden spoon or a whisk, beat in the sugar, egg, vanilla and spices.

Sprinkle baking soda and salt over the batter. Mix it in.

Fold in the flour until combined, DO NOT OVERMIX.

Fold in the fruit.

Pour it out onto a greased loaf pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 45 minutes to an hour, until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the loaf comes out relatively dry. Don't overcook, it'll be too dry.

Brown, caramelly baked goodness!

Cool for 10 minutes. Flip it out onto a wire rack and let it cool.

Slice and eat hot-hot. It'll be OK at room temperature for the rest of the day, probably 3 days when wrapped in plastic and kept in the fridge, and longer when wrapped in foil and frozen.

Not that I ever got to find out, if you've read my rambling post.

Omm-lay du Frrromage!/Brunch, Part 2!

I'm pretty sure all of you know how to make an omelette and churn out smoothies.

Still, omelettes are something I manage to routinely screw up. I always use lesser oil than I'm supposed to, or my pan isn't non-sticky enough or the high heat makes fried-rice eggs out of them. Sometimes they brown up too much, sometimes they aren't cooked enough for me to flip/fold over.

Mum says I'm just picky.

However, as I'm sure all of you have been taught by experience and know how to fry a couple of eggs, so I'll post my modified Tortilla de Patatas recipe. You need atleast 6 eggs to make that fluffy, potato-Spanish omelette.Since nobody at the household are big fans of the egg/potato combination, I use just 2 eggs and make a thin crepe-like omelette. What's not to like? Eggs, good. Potatoes, good. Bread, gooood. Yes, I grew up watching Friends.

And for as for the smoothie, it isn't weekend brunch, more like a weekday breakfast because it takes approximately two minutes to make and ten minutes to consume. If you want to take it easy on your day off, make this, drink it up and go out and get overpriced coffee and buttery croissants later.

Easy Fruit Smoothie:

Recipe Source: ME. As in Rabia.

Ingredients:

4 plump strawberries, hulled and halved.
1 banana, frozen overnight, cut into chunks.
1/3 cup yogurt (low-fat is fine)
1/3 cup cold milk (low fat is fine)
1/3 cup granola/muesli
Ice cubes, for serving.

Method:

Pulse/Blitz all of the ingredients in the food processor/mixie.

The granola had berries and nuts in it! Yum.

I freeze the banana, so I can use it in lieu of ice cubes that will water down my smoothie in an unpleasant manner. Baggry's Fruit N Fibre muesli is what I used (for the extra strawberry flavour), but any granola with a teensy bit of brown/raw sugar should do.

You can play with the combinations. Mango in place of strawberries, with a little elaichi, in the summer, maybe. Blueberries if you have access to fresh berries. Dates and bananas. Mmm. Flavoured yogurt, if added sugar is kosher to you. Too many choices, not enough Weight Watchers points.

I sincerely hope you know I'm kidding.

The mint-failed attempt at Chef-ing it. Never you mind.

Take advantage of seasonal produce, and since we've got strawberries flooding the market at Madras, I used them. You can pick up a box at Rs. 55 at Mint (sowcarpet) and similar neighbourhoods or at the more high-end greengrocers' for Rs. 100.

Spanish omelette a la Rabia:

Recipe Source: If it turns out good, it's mine. Lol. Mine, either way.

Ingredients:

2 eggs
2 tablespoons milk
5 thin slices of uncooked potato.
1/2 cup chopped bell-pepper (green, orange, red, yellow)
1/4 cup chopped onion
Salt & Pepper, to taste.
1 tbsp olive oil.
A matchbox-sized cube of feta/2 tbsps of grated Parmesan.

Method:

In a bowl, whisk the eggs, milk, salt and pepper until nice and frothy.

Heat a small, non-stick saucepan on medium-high. Add the oil.

When hot, drop in the potato. Let it sizzle around for a while on low heat until it becomes fork-tender. Sprinkle on some salt and pepper. Try one of the slices. If you feel it's done, it's done.

Take the slices out and saute the onion. When pinkish, throw in the peppers, and saute until just heated through. Sprinkle some more salt and pepper. Soggy peppers do not a good omelette make.

Strategically place the potato slices around the pan, onion, peppers and all. Douse it all with the egg mix. Add a few drops of olive oil if you deem it necessary.

When the omelette holds it shape, sprinkle the cheese. Fold over, if you like runny eggs or flip and cook the other side if you like your eggs fully cooked.

Serve garnished with fresh/dried herbs. I use dried parsley, extra pepper and freshly chopped coriander/cilantro.

And pick up some good bread to go with it, won't you? I bought this fabulous multi-seeded bread at Nilgris; a whole-wheat bread with grains of rye, sprinkled generously with pumpkin seeds. I toast it for a tiny bit, and serve it hot with the omelette.

Another good way to ruin the posh-ness of it all would be squirt a little ketchup when nobody is watching. Oh, come on. It's Sunday. Rules are for wusses and weekdays.

Buttering up with Banana Bread.

I abhor wastage. I don't know if it's because I've seen malnutrition/impoverishment on a day to day basis, or because my mum would make me eat the leftovers from the lunch box when I got back home. (Ma, if it didn't taste good at noon, it won't at 4. Really.)

Oh, I also have a really annoying, holier-than-thou friend who keeps saying things like "Rabia, don't say ugh for food/eat up my lunch or I'll tell my mum that you hate her cooking". Manipulative Jiminy Cricket.

 It's one of the things that get ingrained, like it or not.

Rewind to a few years back. There were a bunch of bananas (organic), going all overripe and spotty. A literal bunch. Eureka. I discovered banana bread! (Not discovered-discovered. Just discovered of its prior existence).

Wrap up bananas in newspaper and stow them away for a bit.
This helps ripen them faster, especially if there's one already overripe
banana in the bunch!

Now, I pick up bananas that are more black than yellow. I've developed techniques for ripening them fast, because I can't wait for bananas to almost-spoil each time I want this bread. It's that good. Throw in some dates (which we have kilos of, in the refrigerator, given to us by relatives who undertook the Hajj pilgrimage this year), and you have beyond-good banana bread.

The name is a misnomer; this isn't bread. This is dessert. If you want a low-cal, whole-wheat and applesauce version of this recipe, nag me for it. This is the bread you bake when you want someone to like you. Or at least to show off, generally.

I made this twice in the same week. Doubled the recipe each time. The first was for a very special couple's birthdays (their birthdays are two days apart). And the second was for my parents' anniversary. Just so you know the demographic you can bake this for, and that you did need dedication, because it gets a bit tedious.

Midnight baking is fun, there aren't too many people stressing you out. But it's also tiresome and you end up doing everything yourself. Luckily, late-night television is semi-decent on weekdays.

This is-this is-this is-THIS IS. E News!
 I need a life. Agreed.



The awesome base recipe. I've doubled it and made modifications because I like to go all out and bake a proper batch!

The prep work is tough! Yell for help.


Banana-Date Loaf:

Ingredients:

(You could halve this and still have one loaf or 12 muffins)

2 cups mashed, ripe bananas
2 tsps lemon juice
3-1/2 cups all-purpose flour (maida)
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tsps baking powder
2 tsp ground cardamom or cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup pitted dates, diced
1 cup toasted almonds, chopped
1 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled to room temperature.
1 cup demerera sugar (or light brown sugar)
1 cup yogurt (Nestle Dahi would be fantastic)
4 eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp vanilla essence

Method:

1)Prep the bananas. Start with 4 medium-ish bananas. Chop them and mash them with a fork or a hand-mixer. See if you have two cups. If not, add on!

2)Grind the white and brown sugar SEPARATELY in the mixie, until they resemble coarse sand.

3)In a large bowl, mix thoroughly the flour, baking powder, baking soda, white sugar, cardamom and salt.
Toss the dates and nuts into the flour mix, separating with your fingers if they are clumped together so that each individual pieces gets coated with the flour.

Toast the almonds either on a pan or in the oven for a couple of minutes.
Chop them coarsely.

Chop the dates into 2 cm dice. If they're very dry, soak in a few tbsps
of boiling water for 5 minutes, and drain.

4)In a medium bowl, beat together the semi-cooled butter and the brown sugar until well-combined. Beat in the eggs, mashed bananas, yoghurt and vanilla.

5)Make a well in the flour mix. Fold in the wet batter gently into the flour (do NOT beat it in vigorously), until it is just combined.

6)Preheat the oven  to 220 degrees celsius or 375 degrees Farenheit. Grease a loaf tin or muffin cups.

7) Fill up to half of a greased loaf tin. Decorate with bits of almonds and dates.

Give the slices-of-banana "decoration" I've attempted a miss. Not a great idea. A sprinkling of brown sugar over them should brulee them a wee bit, though.

Or try this crumble topping: 2 tbsp of brown sugar+1 tbsp flour+1 tbsp oats+1 tbsp butter+cinnomon/cardamom. Sprinkle it on 15 minutes after the baking starts.

Con no. 5 of midnight baking: You have to do the dishes all by yourself.

8)Bake for 35-40 minutes. Dent the top, it should spring back a little. Toothpick test isn't of much use here, because it has to be a little moist. Remove from the oven and let it cool for ten minutes.

Turn it upside down, and there you have it!

 

Slice and serve when hot. Or wait until it's completely cool. Wrap it in foil, tie a ribbon and attach a note saying it should be sliced and heated in the oven/toaster/griddle until it's warm. 

Incidentally, this is healthy! Relatively, at least. It's got bananas (tryptophan, fibre, potassium), dates (iron!), almonds (omega 3 fatty acids)!

Psst. Forget the butter. It'll be our little secret. I won't tell if you won't.